🇬🇧 Trust issues

Another trip to Cuba ended too quickly. It was amazing to see all the family and friends but unfortunately I found out that some cuban – non cuban couples (that I knew and thought were forever) have split.

As always a lot of drama and gossip is included so I don’t know 100% sure but if I understood well there was a lot of cheating included.

And then thought, how can we ever trust Cubans 100% if there’s so many shitty stories out there. I am sure you had some trust issues before, everyone had, even me. And the ultimate question you always ask me is “how do I know if he really loves me?” and “how did you know Fidel was in love with you?”.

So let’s see.

Do I trust Fidel ? YES.

Did I have moments I ever thought maybe the same thing will ever happen to us? YES

And I think is totally normal. Especially that there are people out there who have strong opinions on dating Cubans. Mostly because they have never met any…If they did they’d knew Cubans are warm, family orientated and amazing people. They have their families, relationships, jobs and most of them don’t care for anything else. I am the only yuma in the family full of aunts, cousins, couples and none of them is wasting their time on looking for a tourist. Trust me.

Why then so many of us are still wondering if they are being or will be cheated one day. I think is because we only hear the bad stuff. How many happy stories are out there? Few. Scam stories? Way too much.

When I met Fidel I didn’t research anything about dating Cubans. I didn’t know about all the scams. And you know what? I’m so glad I didn’t. Maybe that’s our secret. There were no red flags so I trusted myself and him. Of course if there were red flags and I would still decide to ignore them, well then partially I would feel guilty for the result. If something smells fishy from the beginning probably it isn’t right. Trust your instincts.

But how to deal with the trust issues once you are already in the relatioship, process of bringing him home or maybe already living together? Here are some advice how not to be jelaous (not too much) of your Cuban papi.

Be reasonable

Most of the trust issues (even if try to convince yourself it’s different) comes from the stereotype which is out there – Cubans are cheaters and jineteros and they are only dating foreigners to leave Cuba. Which is so unfair by the way. Are there jineteros in Cuba? Yes there are. The same as in other countries. Is there a chance you meet one? Yes. The same chance that you will find a cheater in your country.

Don’t be so hard on yourself

Some of the trust issues are the result of your low self esteem. “Am I pretty enough?” “Am I good enough?” “Why he would choose me over any Cuban mulata?”. He chose you for a reason girl so don’t be too hard on yourself. Being foreigner is NOT your only quality. Probably you wouldn’t ask youself these question if he was a random guy from your country. Why is this relationship different?

Accept cultural differences

If you’re coming from a latin country it won’t be too bad. But Poles are quite different from Cubans. I mean we have a lot in common (like communism lol) but Poles are much more reserved. I guess most of the European countries will be similar. So you will have to accept Cubans have a lot of friends, also female friends and are more affectionate then we are. So they will use a lot of 😍 and similar emojis and will send the silly chain letters full of hearts and stuff. It doesn’t mean anything. And there will be more similar things you may be jelaous about which in Cuba are perfectly normal. Embrace his Cubania, don’t hate it.

No seas boba

The chances you get separated because he used you / cheated on you and because of other reason are practically the same. Especially if you never truly lived together before ( countless trips to Cuba doesn’t count for me). I know couples who split after finally getting to US/Europe after just few months because they just didn’t get along. Romance in Cuba and real life overseas are two completely different things. And even if it happens don’t treat it as a failure. Were all your previous relationships perfect?

And I know it’s easy to say and hard to do. And all men love when you are a bit jelaous of him but no one wants to be married to a crazy jelaous person who stalks his phone.

My ultimate advise? Be smart when choosing your man, ignor people who know better, don’t ignore any red flags and once you find him no seas boba. He is even more jelaous than you.