🇬🇧 Third trip is a charm

Ok. So I have this theory…

I think that if you are dating a Cuban, by your 3rd trip to Cuba(1st being the one you met on) shit should be serious.

And I’m really invested in this one. Taking in consideration the time off work, tickets, stay there (as we all know poor country does not mean cheap country) by the third trip you have probably invested 5-6k USD or more depending on where are you travelling from. For folks in Europe the tickets will be more expensive but time off work will be easier than in other places. But there is a lot of planning either way. Sometimes we would bring gifts and stuff so the bill is growing.

Aso by your 3rd trip this relationship is not a newby right? Not everyone can get back one month after they met the other half. From my experience the average time between the first and the second trip is something between two to five months. The same applies to another trip. So Let’s say you are officially dating for at least five months by the third trip. In a normal relationship you would be quite a couple now, right? I mean spending Christmas together, attending the weddings, sometimes even more. The only difference is you would have all that cash still sitting in your bank account.

Cuban perspective

From the Cuban perspective, if they like the girl they have to act quickly for few reasons:

1. The ball is always on your side. Which means they can do absolutely nothing if for example you stop to answering the phone. They can’t just hop on the plane and get the girl right?

2. You may meet someone anytime. And more time passes more likely it is. The romance is always hotter at the beggining but with time you may go out more and if you find someone at least as attractive as they- they know they will loose. If there are two guys you like almost the same the probablity that you’ll choose the one with better job and less paper work is quite high. They know this.

3. He probably is sick of living in Cuba. I love it there but trust me it’s so much different go to Cuba for holidays or even spend months there as we usually do, but we have 2 things that a lot of Cuban don’t have: money and the return ticket. If things are getting serious he must be thinking about leaving Cuba with you (I would think the same as well). And if doesn’t do anything we are getting back to the 1st point – he never knows when your next trip to Cuba will be the last one.

Thant’s why Cubans and their relationships are moving fast. They don’t have time as the other guys you would date do. They have to secure things. If by the third trip you are not:

a) married already

b) engaged

c) having the visa process started

d) this I don’t think happens but it’s crucial – you still haven’t been in his enviroment (house, town, etc)

This means the probably the relationship is not as serious as you thought. And you may be like “oh we are taking things slow”. But trust me leaving Cuba and with women they love – this is the dream come true for all the Cubans. So if by the third trip you are still kind of dating only, staying in hotels it’s really possible you are not the only lady in their life or just “not the one”. Or they want to leave Cuba but not with you and not exactly to your country. American dream is still popular among Cubans.

Here are few stories about how 3rd trip usually looks like. These are real stories with no names since I don’t have contact with all the folks anymore after all the years. You will get the message anyway.

1. I met Fidel on my third trip to Cuba. But since it was the trip we met this is the trip 1 for me. We didn’t have much time. He was working and I was travelling with 2 friends. After like 3 or 4 nights we hang out together I left to discover Cuba with the 2 friends. I never finished my trip bacause I decided to come back to Viñales for another 4 days before I had to leave. This was in October. In January of next year I went for another visit to meet the family and spend more time together. The third time I boarded the plane to see Fidel I had my 3 suitcaises with me, documents to get married and no return ticket. We lived together in that small yellow house and we got married. A year from the day we met Fidel was already in Poland working and in the process of getting his residency.
2. One of my friends met someone on the very same trip. They spend aroung 10 days together and she had to leave. She came back 6 months later for a month to decide if she wanted to continue the relationship. On the third trip…oh wait there was no third trip, unless we count the one he took to fly to Poland. Again, it took them 3 trips to be together.
3. Story nr 3. They meet on the internet in 2020. She plans to go visit him in January of 2021 but Cuba gets locked again because of the pandemic. Finaly she is able to go in Februrary of 2022. They get married on the 2nd trip in June of 2022. By December (3rd trip) he is coming to Poland where they together happy ever since.
4. This time a Canadian story. They meet in 2018 when she travels around Cuba with a friend and stay at the house his parents are renting. Comes back two times more. On the third trip they are married. She comes to Cuba 3 times more since the visa process takes time. Still – on the 3rd trip she had the ring on her finger.
5. Another European went on a solo trip in November of 2014. She meets the guy in Viñales but continues the trip. Somewhere in the middle of Cuba she decides to come back – sounds so familiar. She spends the rest of a month trip with him. Comes back 2 months later. The 3rd time she comes back to Cuba she is coming to live there. Rents her aparment in Europe which gives her more than enough money to live a great life.

I could go on and on. Are all these guys still together? Most of them. But the important part is that by the end of their 3rd trip to Cuba they knew exatly what was going on.

And how was your third trip?

And 13 trips later: