How to make sure the love is real and will survive the distance. And how not to be cheated and ripped off by a Cuban lover.
Fall in love with a Cuban guy is so easy especially for us European girls. They are so different that the man we are use to, so exotic. Dark skin (so much sun in Cuba), brown eyes, Spanish accent, salsa moves it just works for us. For some more than for others. Some girls would just enjoy it, go back home and always think about Cuba with a big smile. Others like me 🙂 will go back home but will not forget about their Cuban lover. And will come back to Cuba faster they would have ever imagined.
It always starts the same way. You’re on holidays in this beautiful tropical country. At night you go out with your friends or solo and you meet this Cuban guy. He just want to dance with you and you want to practice your salsa moves you’ve just learned. And maybe you speak Spanish or he speaks a bit of English. He asks you where are you from and how long will you stay in his town. If for more than just that night he will ask you out and you will say yes (if you find him attractive) to have some fun.
So you’re in Cuba, it’s hot, you’re drinking your mojitos all the time and you have a handsome Cuban by your side. Life couldn’t be better at this point. You think it’s just for few days because it’s only a holiday romance and then you’ll go back home. So why are you so sad leaving his town?
When I met Fidel I was traveling with two friends of mine. We had a nice plan of visiting all the island. And in the middle of the I way I turned around and came back all the way from Camagüey (we were on the way to Baracoa) to Viñales just to spend few more days with him. And trust me, I was not the first one and not the last doing so.
Foreigners dating Cubans is so classic in Cuba. And there is nothing wrong with that. You just have to be smart. There are so many mixed, happy couples but there are even more people there who see foreigner tourists as a way to leave the island forever or just to get some money from them. You meet Cuban, and he will tell you that he would love to pay you a drink but he earns 10$ a month so he can’t. So what do you do? You buy him one or two or even a whole bottle.
Or you take him to the room and the next day you notice some things are missing. Or maybe they’ll dance with you and when you leave the bar you’ll get this huge bill because the guy told everyone your table had an open bar. Or maybe he’ll suggest you to buy drinks because it will be cheaper but in the end he buys it at the Cuban price and keeps the change…so many different ways to take an advantage of you and make you pay. In most of the cases you won’t even notice it.
What if you leave? There are still ways to get money out of you. Cubans have smartphones and will give you their contact but…of course they don’t have enough money to charge the Internet card everyday. But hey, there’s a way to do it from abroad so maybe you can do it for him and this way he can connect to talk to you every day? Of course.
But that’s just a small thing. What if the you keep talking and you feel good about where the relationship is going. Than I tell you one thing, travelling to Cuba few times a year it’s an expensive thing. So usually the natural is that the couples start to think about living together, together in the girl’s country of course.
It takes so much effort (from both sides) and money that I really recommend to travel to Cuba for at least a month to double check if the feeling is real and … strong enough. Still, there are so many guys who are so desperate to leave the island. There’s this myth in Cuba that it’s enough to leave to have this great life, that jobs are just waiting for them and money can be found on the street. Because everything is better than Cuba is.
But how to get there? Well Cubans don’t have money so the only way to move away is either to swim to US or to get someone who will pay for everything. And it’s not just a plane ticket. You’ll need to pay for the visa, all the documents, translations, residency, clothes (especially if you live in a different climate) and then you have to be ready to pay for him until he gets a job and trust me it’s not always easy. And in some cases you’ll pay for all that but the relationship will still not work. You have no idea how many Cubans managed to go to Europe and because they did it for wrong reasons, they were back on the island before they even blinked.
If the guy really cares for you, he will not ask you for money, for charging his mobile phone, etc. Of course there is nothing wrong in doing this. But if somebody asks you for money all the time it may be a sign that this is the real reason they’re with you. Some Cubans think that because they’re so poor they have a total right to ask for money and since you’re a rich foreigner you should just give it to them.
It sounds really bad I know, and don’t get me wrong. I love Cuban nation, half of my family now is Cuban, my kids will be half Cuban 😉 There are amazing people out there. And they are worth to search for and worth to invest your time in them. But not every romance is worth your energy.
I’m not saying that it’s not possible to meet a nice guy at the Cuban party. But if you meet him there it’s a sign you may not be his first one. Cubans go to the party to have fun, but so many of them go there to look for a tourist to seduce. Something to have in mind. It doesn’t mean you can’t dance with him and have fun. They are just people who found an easy way of living. Those people usually don’t work or work as salsa teachers so a party is a way to get new clients and some money.
Don’t go to Cuba thinking that every guy who approaches you only wants money. There are so many amazing couples who met this way. But be aware, some romances in Cuba were meant to stay in Cuba forever. Because all the tropical stuff and holidays will end one day and the real life will come.
But if you find a nice guy, keep him. There are so many reasons you should date a Cuban men 🙂 😉 🙂